Top 16 Reasons To Let Your Kids Watch Game of Thrones

Yes, Winter is coming.  And yes, independent of Game of Thrones I cannot stop clicking on articles that seduce me with lists of random garbage, so why not write another one myself?  Thus, knowing that 87.6% of the adult population is eagerly anticipating GOT this weekend, combined with the fact that Sunday family activities for the next three months will be cut short to leave viewing time, I present to you The Top 16 Reasons To Let Your Kids Watch Game of Thrones

  1. New behavior modification threats (White Walker, Night’s Watch, Dothraki hoard, etc.), far more effective than calling Santa or the Easter Bunny.
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    A White Walker. Way scarier than coal for Christmas.

  2. Exposure to the dangers of incest.
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    Someone slept with their sister.

  3. Non-slutty Halloween ideas for years to come.
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    Highly appropriate, perfect for middle schoolers.

  4. Emphasis on always repaying debts should prevent future credit card issues.
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    Paying your debts is cool.

  5. Won’t say, “Look at that little man!” the next time a dwarf walks by in public.
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    Mess with a dwarf, get shot on the toilet.

  6. Learn the danger of fire and/or spending time with people who like fire.
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    Play with fire, you’re gonna get burned. This is not a good person.

  7. Could spur interest in fencing, increasing odds of Ivy League college admission.
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    Future Harvard grad? Before Needle, it was community college all the way.

  8. Increase odds of following through on wedding commitments.
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    Hmmmm. I do? What if I don’t?

  9. Important lesson that life isn’t always better in the big city.
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    This wouldn’t have happened in the country.

  10. Gateway to introduce progressive rock band Journey (Bran Stark is a dead ringer for Steve Perry).
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    Journey lead singer, Steve Perry.

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    Steve Perry look alike, Bran Stark, on quite a journey himself.

  11. Weekly geography lesson during opening show credits.
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    If this doesn’t make your kid love maps, nothing will.

  12. May encourage your child to be a Valyrian Steel tycoon, bringing thousands of jobs back to the US.
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    Future corporate headquarters of US Valyrian Steel?

  13. Life lesson that everyone dies.  Seriously, everyone.
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    Even this nice lady dies? Fo sho.

  14. Extensive bed pan usage and public displays of urination eliminate any discomfort with gender neutral bathrooms.
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    No need for these signs in the 7 Kingdoms. Everyone just goes wherever they want!

  15. Prepare them to take GOP convention drama in stride.  There could be worse people on the Iron Throne than The Donald.
    The Donald, not the worst option all things considered!

    The Donald, not the worst option all things considered!

  16. While creeping out some adults, ability to talk GOT will make them the coolest kid EVER with others.
    Echosmith, the actual band who wrote the song "Cool Kids"

    Echosmith, the actual band who wrote the song “Cool Kids”, will be singing about your kid.

So there it is, The Top 16 Reasons To Let Your Kids Watch Game of Thrones.  If I haven’t sold you on it, that’s your problem not mine.  Regardless, enjoy the season!