Yes, Winter is coming. And yes, independent of Game of Thrones I cannot stop clicking on articles that seduce me with lists of random garbage, so why not write another one myself? Thus, knowing that 87.6% of the adult population is eagerly anticipating GOT this weekend, combined with the fact that Sunday family activities for the next three months will be cut short to leave viewing time, I present to you The Top 16 Reasons To Let Your Kids Watch Game of Thrones…
- New behavior modification threats (White Walker, Night’s Watch, Dothraki hoard, etc.), far more effective than calling Santa or the Easter Bunny.
- Exposure to the dangers of incest.
- Non-slutty Halloween ideas for years to come.
- Emphasis on always repaying debts should prevent future credit card issues.
- Won’t say, “Look at that little man!” the next time a dwarf walks by in public.
- Learn the danger of fire and/or spending time with people who like fire.
- Could spur interest in fencing, increasing odds of Ivy League college admission.
- Increase odds of following through on wedding commitments.
- Important lesson that life isn’t always better in the big city.
- Gateway to introduce progressive rock band Journey (Bran Stark is a dead ringer for Steve Perry).
- Weekly geography lesson during opening show credits.
- May encourage your child to be a Valyrian Steel tycoon, bringing thousands of jobs back to the US.
- Life lesson that everyone dies. Seriously, everyone.
- Extensive bed pan usage and public displays of urination eliminate any discomfort with gender neutral bathrooms.
- Prepare them to take GOP convention drama in stride. There could be worse people on the Iron Throne than The Donald.
- While creeping out some adults, ability to talk GOT will make them the coolest kid EVER with others.
So there it is, The Top 16 Reasons To Let Your Kids Watch Game of Thrones. If I haven’t sold you on it, that’s your problem not mine. Regardless, enjoy the season!