Advice From a 2 Year Old

advice from a two year oldAdvice from your child?  Sometimes it’s just what you need.

It’s 7:45 a.m. on a Friday morning. By this point in the week I’m working angry, alone in my cluttered home office. I feel like I am one petty crisis from going Mike Tyson on my laptop when I hear a light rapping at the door.

“Morning Dada!” shouts Annie, my pint-sized pixie of a daughter with an oversize personality that overshadows her physical presence. The door swings open and she barges in, all 24 pounds of her two-year-old frame. “You like my WOW dress, Dada?” referring to one of her treasured “wow” dresses. These are dresses that so special, they make her say “WOW!” She spins around for me to see, her fine blond hair exploding as if her hands were on a Van de Graaff generator.

“What you doin’, Dada?”

“Working. What are you doing?”

“I’m eating pancakes and bacon, then going to the zoo.”

“I’m jealous that I have to stay here and work.” Despite the real jealousy I am feeling, my mood has already lightened.

“Alright, I’m going now.”

“Bye Annie, I love you.”

“Bye Dada. Don’t pee your pants and don’t vomit.” She closes the door for a second before opening it again just wide enough to pop her head through, “and have a nice weekend!”

“Don’t pee your pants and don’t vomit, and have a nice weekend!” Besides being random and hilarious, I find myself challenged to come up with a better piece of advice. What was my daughter really telling me, in the limited vocabulary that she has?”

“Don’t pee your pants and don’t vomit, and have a nice weekend!”

Don’t pee your pants: Take care of the simple things.

Don’t vomit: Lighten up, big man, we’ll get through this.

Have a good weekend: Enjoy your life, and spend some time with your adorable daughter while you’re at it!

I wonder if Annie was speaking in metaphor the time she stroked my arm and said, “Dada has arm fur.” Unfortunately, I’m afraid that “Daddy is an ape man” is the closest I can get on that one.

Oh well, to anyone reading this…Don’t pee your pants, don’t vomit and have a good weekend!